‘Be Assertive’, wrong or right advice in relationships?

‘Be Assertive’, wrong or right advice in relationships?

There is this Funny reactions on Twitter about being “assertive” when asking for a date or sexual relationship. This made us think about the importance of assertiveness and the balance that needs to be put in place.

See some funny reactions below:

As defined by Merriam Webster, possessing the trait of assertiveness means to be “disposed to or characterized by bold or confident statements and behaviour.”
Being assertive means being sure of what you want, who you want and saying it without being subtle or beating around the bush.
In the dating game, assertiveness is very important because anything left in the dark or not clearly stated would most likely mean someone is going to get hurt in the end.
What brought about this conversation is a tweet by a popular user who said that instead of asking a babe for her number like this, “Can I have your number?” He should rather say, “Let me have your number.”

However, if you are meeting for the first time and had only a lack lustre conversation or one that goes like, ‘Please, where is the restroom?’ and you then ask for her number, you will look like a mad person.
The caveat is that everyone wants to hear they are admired and wanted by people they like and want.

Be assertive with your feelings, “I like you” “I find you sexually attractive.”
Be assertive with your intention, “I think we should date.” “I am only interested in sleeping with you.”
Being overly assertive can be a bad thing because there is nothing as irritating as being sought after by someone you do not want.
Plus, it removes consent from the equation. Imagine saying, “I will kiss you” instead of “can I kiss you?” it feels rather forceful.
So, a polite assertion from someone who you can tell is interested in you is much better.

Leave a Comment